A couple weeks ago I decided to tell all of you who would make the playoffs, who would win what divisions and who would just miss out and be left on the outside looking in and waiting for next year to prove themselves. I most likely got only one team wrong ( it’s my own fault for thinking Kurt warner or the Cardinals could be counted on for anything ) and I made the bold but wrong prediction that the Jags would win the AFC North instead of the Colts. This was a shot in the dark I thought with the Colts struggling without Marvin Harrison would lose to Jacksonville on Monday night a couple weeks back, turned out I was wrong, dead wrong I won’t be doubting the Colts anymore as you will soon find out and it was a case of no harm no foul, obviously both teams would make the playoffs why not take a chance and guess the upset. The rest ? On point like icicles ninja. ( don’t believe me check it out…..http://tinyurl.com/3xftq4…….http://tinyurl.com/393csm )

So now with just 3 weeks left in the season I’m gonna lock in ALL the playoff teams and there most likely seeds, now with it being fairly obvious who is finishing where for the most part,just telling you what you pretty much already know won’t be enough so I’m a take it a step farther and tell you how the playoffs will play out.

AFC

EAST - PATRIOTS ( # 1 seed first round bye, home field throughout playoffs ) Unless the Jets end Brady’s life or play the game of their lives the Patriots will finish the regular season undefeated ( don’t believe the hype about them resting players against the Giants they are gonna trick themselves into thinking they have to win the game by 40 just to make the playoffs )

SOUTH - COLTS ( # 2 seed first round bye, home field until they play the Pats ) * Slaps self for thinking Peyton was lost without Marvin * Crazy part is the defense might actually be the strength of this team now, that is as long as Bob Sanders stays healthy, when he isn’t playing they might as well not even show up because they couldn’t stop anybody…..

NORTH - STEELERS ( # 3 seed, home field first game ) Theres actually a chance the Browns finish with the same record as they could win out and the Steelers do play the Jags this week, but it wouldn’t matter the Steelers hold the head to head tie breaker and would win the division anyway, their problem is they need to figure out what is wrong with Willie Parker and o-line, cause they can’t generate any type of running game what so ever and they can not win in the playoffs playing anything other than smash mouth Steeler football. Yeah Big Ben has improved the passing game but the focus is on that too much for the Steelers they need to wear defenses down with their power running game, if they still have one, we should find out something about that this weekend against Jacksonville.

WEST - CHARGERS ( # 4 seed, home field first game ) Sorry I fux but this shit is really embarrassing. Yeah the Chargers will make the playoffs and win the division and they might even win out and finish 11-5, however this is by far the ugliest 11-5 in the history of football. I know some of you are like 11-5 is embarrassing ? Well when you have the amount of talent the Chargers do hell yeah, especially when you factor in that they won a bunch of games they had no business winning ( Titans last week, Bears week 1 just to name a few ) I’d say they are still a dangerous team, an x-factor ( no x-facta from NR ) like so many others are saying but I’m sorry I just can’t do it, probably has something to do with the fact that I realize Phillip Rivers is their QB, something everyone else is seeming to forget. Speaking of remember how good he played last year he went to the pro bowl last year, Tom Brady didn’t and no one even complained about it, once again I’d like to congratulate A.J. Smith on firing Marty and replacing him with such a historically succesful coach. ( My sarcasm button is still broken )

WILD CARD - JAGUARS ( # 5 seed, on the road ) Third best team in the conference, second best in the division, this happens every year in every sport, some wild card team finishes with a better record than a division winner and gets rewarded by playing a road game, fortunitly for them it will be San Diego they have to travel to. I don’t mean it like good they get to enjoy nice warm sunny weather and a bunch of smuts that have apparently all been run through by Shawn Merrimen. ( according to the boy I fux ) I mean like good for them they get to play against Norv Turner’s team with no QB. The Jags can stop the run about as well as anyone and have a great ball control QB of their own who never makes mistakes ( 1 int. all year ) they are built perfectly to beat the Chargers.

WILD CARD - BROWNS ( # 6 seed, on the road ) Yes I said it a couple weeks ago and most people laughed well, they aren’t laughing now. Well maybe they are after all I am, I mean who thought the Browns would be here ( 911 put your damn hands down you might of wanted to think that but theres not a person in the dogg pound that thought this was possible ) Now what sucks for them is they will have to go back to Pittsburgh and play the Steelers for the third time this year, can they win ? Yeah definitely, like I said I’m not convinced about the Steelers and they need Polumalu back asap, but then again how can they not put up at least 40 against the browns defense. Sorry Browns fans be happy you made it here and hope you don’t fall right back to being terrible like some other teams I know of that will remain nameless ( god damn Jets )

ROUND 2 DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS

JACKSONVILLE @ NEW ENGLAND - Man I hate the Patriots, not sure how many of you knew that, and I’m big on the Jags I really think they are very underrated, them and the Bucs are easily the most underrated but come on I’m not stupid. The Patriots are most definitely beatable their defense is not that good it is very overrated and can’t stop anyone from running, I expect a big game from both Jags RB’s. Problem is the Jags are built for normal playoff football, run the ball and stop the run, well stopping the run is no problem since the Patriots don’t run, however they Jags get beat all day in the air and if everyone else is beating them that way why would it be any different for Brady and Moss ? Patriots move on to the AFC championship and the game isn’t nearly as close as I hoped, no matter what kind of duck tales I try to spin right before kick off.

STEELERS @ COLTS - Remember I said I don’t like the Steelers, they get lucky to play such a bad defense in the first round, not so lucky here even if Bob Sanders gets hurt the Colts will beat the Steelers, I’m so confident I don’t even feel the need to justify it, just believe me.

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP

COLTS @ NEW ENGLAND - I know what a shock I bet you no one else has the balls to make such a bold and outlandish prediction ( yes that was more sarcasm and yes you should be smacked stupid if you were to make any other conclusions ) but heres where it gets interesting. I fully expect that Patriots to be 17-0 at this point, they will be thinking 19-0 and Super Bowl champs everyone will be ready to crown their asses (c) Denny Green, but they will all of forgotten about the Colts. Remember what happened last year cause many don’t. The Colts won their playoff games and the Super Bowl not because of Peyton but because of their D, well guess what the D is even better and no one and I mean no one is talking about them. They must love this, after the past couple years of them getting followed everywhere all regular season it’s their turn to be left alone until they lay the smack down and remind everyone just how good they are. The Patriots are a great football team, capable of going 19-0 and winning the Super Bowl problem is the Colts aren’t THAT far behind them and while the Pats could go 19-0 they aren’t gonna do it taking 2 off of the Colts I look for the Pats to stumble here and set Peyton up for back to backs, making for a huge shift in story lines.

NFC - UP TOMORROW